Chapter Fifty-Five
BAD BOY
[ a song, country-rock ]
He was a bad boy who was told to go chop wood
But he went fishin' instead 'cause he never was no good
Never went to church on Sunday nor learnt a thing in school
Yeah, he did his very best to break every single rule
He grew up to be a gambler, grew up to be a thief
He caused his father shame and he brought his mother grief
Before he was 14 years old he ended up in jail
Where his girlfriends came to visit and ante up his bail
He was a bad boy who finally settled down
Became a model citizen and mayor of his hometown
'Till one day he got frustrated when his children acted lax
And went after both of them and his ol' lady with an ax
The small town found a small-time judge and had a big-time trial
He hired a big-time lawyer with a big an' expensive smile
They brought in the press and cameras, condemned his worthless soul
And took him and his mouthpiece, locked them both up in the hole
Now, you may think this song ends here and this story's met its goal
But after only a coup'la years he got out on parole
Seems he might've had a hard time earnin' a paycheck after that
But he fell into the lobby pocket of the corporation fat
They took his tarnished image, made it squeak-clean like a mouse
Got him elected governor, then Speaker of the House
He financed a right campaign 'neath the coalition steeple
And ended up as President representin' we the people
After only a month or two the treasury was all bleached
And in spite of his reputation, he finally was impeached
Though in life everythin' he tried had somehow always missed
He then stole a fancy tie and became a tv evangelist
He crusaded in Los Angeles, Denver and Detroit
Then traveled overseas to see who else he could exploit
One day he took more than usual from the offering pail
And ended up where he had started, back in county jail
He was a bad boy, always up to nuthin' good
Who did his very best to not do anythin' he should
He became a tv preacher who sang an evil song
And ended up in jail where folks like him belong
Yeah, he was a bad boy, always up to nuthin' good
Who did his very best to not do anythin' he should
He became a tv preacher who sang an evil song
And ended up in jail where folks like him belong
He pleaded innocence, cryin' "I did nothin' wrong"
But he ended up in jail where folks like him belong
Yeah, he ended up in jail. . . where folks like him belong *
House of Ruth
Bread and Roses
DEDICATED TO: Country music singer Johnny Cash, a fine American patriot and a far better preacher
through his life and music than those from the nauseating Sunday pulpits of American stain-glass ignorance.
*FootNote: Loosely based on the American short story, The Story of the Bad Little Boy, by Mark
Twain (1875). Inspired by Peter Popoff, Jim Baker, Pat
Robertson (also known as Fat Robber's Son), The Christian Coalition, Newt Gingrich and Junior
Bush (also known in the European press as the Global Village Idiot). Special thanks to
Larry Flynt, longtime outspoken critic of American
religious and political hypocrisy.
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